Conviction…a firmly held belief or opinion. We hold on to this like it’s our last dying breath.

I recently had a life epiphany. Something I’ve felt so strongly about for most of my adult life has slowly been fading away. It took some massive turmoil for me to get to this place.

My north node is in Leo, and the south node is in Aquarius. Unfortunately, I’ve been living out my south node this entire time. I fooled myself into thinking I stopped once I let go of some relationships. Lone behold, I let other relationships run my life because I thought it was the right thing to do. Turns out, it was more false obligations I put on myself. Unconsciously, I was still living out my south node.

North node – the direction you are suppose to go in this life. South node – the direction you are not suppose to go.

Why must we have to learn lessons the hard way? I guess, how else would we learn, right? ALL these lessons 😕 I’m tired. Aren’t you?

This is the death and rebirth process, my friends. This is one of the main reasons why we’re here. It’s something we chose. It’s hard to swallow when we’re knee-deep in despair.

Life feels so…LARGE. As if there is nothing of more importance than the experiences we are having now. Which is true to some extent. But I’d like to think there is more at play beyond what the eyes can see. Hidden messages masked under all the voices that seek our attention. There is purpose in all the things we do. A constant chain reaction from one experience to the next. All meant to lead us somewhere.

Take some time and go through your memory bank. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to dig out some of the hard things, too. Do you remember the feelings associated with each experience? When something great happened, what came before? After something bad happened, what came next? You see, it’s ALL a process of growth. If you continue to advance forward despite the chaos, your strength only becomes greater. Tougher and more resilient for what comes next. Think of it like a skill. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Eventually, it will seem like it was always a part of you, easy. The hours and hours practicing seem so unchallenging now.

I don’t write about this as an outsider assuming, but as a person going through it, trying to find the answers to my why. In doing so, I realize I am not the only one going through a death and rebirth process. As I try and help myself, I will try and help you in the best way I know how. That is, through my writing.

We must be conscious and responsible for our beliefs and behaviors if we are ever to be free. -Brendon Burchard

I no longer want to pursue a life of – I come second for the greater good. I’m naturally a person of service, and I will continue to be in a manner that is good for my own well-being. I allowed that self-sacrifice part of me take over completely. Believing it was my purpose in this life to save others. At 41 years old, that conviction no longer holds true. I can now make space for ME. The real, complete, whole me that has been suppressed by so many self-imposed obligations. I, too, deserve happiness. I, too, deserve all the abundance that life has to offer.

For my empaths, souls of service… you too, deserve all the greatness you give in return.

Photo via ~ Pixabay 0fjd125gk87