I reflect on how things ended. On all the mistakes I made. There were so many.

I cringe, replaying the things I said to you. I was so insecure. Pointing fingers at you when I couldn’t have my way. Criticizing instead of taking responsibility. All to relieve the smallness I felt about myself.

If only I had more self-awareness.

I hurt you because I was terrified of getting hurt.

You see, you’re a dream come true. Everything I’ve ever longed for…is you.

But dreams don’t really come true. They are like miracles that happen seldomly. Who am I? To be so lucky…that someone like you could love someone like me? I sabotaged us before we really even began.

If only I wasn’t so cynical.

I wear this mask so well. Hiding how much I wish I could change about myself. Wishing I was more of this… and more of that.

And then I allowed my ego to take center stage. Telling myself I don’t really care. That you were just one of many that have come and gone. I let you go. So easily.

If only I wasn’t such a coward.

Now it’s too late. Because you know what you deserve.

You are so sure of yourself… but in a way, I admire so much. You are deeply kind. Carrying a silent strength that many are so intimated by. A quiet exterior and fascinating mind. Like I said, a dream come true.

If only I could take it all back. If only I could turn back the hands of time. If only I had another chance.

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