Wanna talk about writer’s block? Lets.
Writers, you know exactly how I feel. I haven’t written in so long that I’ve questioned if I am even still a writer. Maybe I’m just distracted or uninspired? That’s the lingering question I have circling in the back of my mind. I think about writing, but haven’t had an ounce of will power to do it.
Here’s a bit of my story. Thank you in advance for reading this 😊 I grew up on the system. We had barely just enough, and remained in survival mode my entire childhood. I’m sure many, can relate. So as soon as I was able to work, I started immediately. There was no lazy bone in my body. I knew I wanted more, and I went after it and never looked back. I worked part-time jobs till I was old enough to work 40+ a week. Since I turned eighteen my life has been one of work, work and more work. Striving for more was constant, while trying to just be okay was difficult at times. I was also a young single mother. Glad to see I broke that cycle… sarcastically typing that out. Not asking for sympathy or pity at all. The choices I made in my life were mine to make, and I sure did make them. A rebellious kid? That I was 😈 I digress.
2020 – mid 2022… total freaken chaos. We’ve all ridden the unpredictable waves of difficulties, but this one, at least for me, was different. Many of us were given the opportunity to get off the 9-5 hamster wheel. We were no longer fighting against time. Granted, maybe some of you loved your job. Sorry if that’s the case. I saw it as the universe no longer wanted me at my current job. I was there for 13 long years! Can’t help but think that for you also.
So you see, while I was working a traditional job and raising my son, there was not much time left for anything else. It was always go, go, go. These past couple of years, my life has been the opposite of that. Suddenly there’s all this available time. I started watching a lot of TV. Wow. There are so many good shows! LOL Prior, screen time consisted of self-help and educational YouTube videos. I’ve never been much of a couch potato. I got pretty good at it, ha ha. Guess what I have to show for it? A handful of extra pounds sitting on my bones 😂 BUT… after a while, sitting around watching TV for hours on end became too much. Sometimes I’d just lay on my bed or sit looking out the window quietly with my thoughts. Things that I swept under the rug…well…more like put into a coffin and threw down a fifty feet deep hole started to resurface. I wasn’t alone in this process. There was a bird that kept picking on my scabs 😒 Bird being a metaphor for a person whom I have a very dysfunctional love hate relationship with.
I’ve had to deal with things and people head on cause, well, I had nothing else to distract me. I wasn’t out of the house for 10 hours, five days a week. There was no second home to escape to. Maybe I made some poor choices. How do we really know when we’re sitting in the middle of it, though? It’s always after the dust settles that we can actually draw a true conclusion.
As I sit here and think about why I haven’t been wanting to write, I’ve come to the realization that it’s both distraction and being uninspired. Writing has always been a form of expression for me. An outlet. The distraction of all the things that were going on must have left me in a draining, depressive state, which caused me to be uninspired. I understand now how depression can be a silent killer. When I say “killer,” it can happen in many forms. We all know depression leads to suicide. But it can also kill your will, your desires, your dreams and so on.
It hasn’t been all bad. My self discovery (spiritual awakening) I believe has somewhat fully cultivated. Everything that used to mean something now means nothing. My reality of what was has been shattered. I have to give it to The Leo King. He said this would happen for a lot of people. SHATTERED REALITY. I’ve spent my adult years thinking I knew what life was about. Hell no, I did not. Now at 40 years young, I know so, so much more! Age really does bring wisdom. Well…not for all 😆
The dust is finally starting to settle. There seems to be a little spark igniting once again. I think I’m back. 2.0 version of me 😁 Like Jen and Ben 2.0, but I’m still single 🤣🤣🤣
If you’ve gone through something similar these last couple of years, let me know. Would love to chat! I’m still astrology crazed. And now Human Design crazed. We are coming into a time when connections are at the forefront. It’s time to find our True Tribe people!!!