It’s Friday night, yay! Kind of 😬
Safe to say I still don’t have a solid routine. My city is moving into phase two out of this quarantine. I don’t think I’ll be going back to work anytime soon though. I’m not even sure I’ll have a job to go back to. In the meantime, I seriously need to get my schedule in order. To be honest, I hate being on any kind of time constraint. Maybe that’s why I’m struggling with a routine…? I just have so much time on my hands. I use to wash my sheets every Sunday. Now I can’t remember when I washed them last. I don’t mean I haven’t washed them (that would be GROSS). I just mean my routine isn’t so routine anymore. I’ll wash them sometimes Tuesday. Sometimes Friday. I don’t write it down and since my days blend together I forget. Pretty sure I washed them twice in the last 7 days 😐Today doesn’t feel like Friday. All the days feel somewhat the same.
I’ve been having to ask myself the hard questions. Like…Roacilynn, you’ve always wanted to work from home. You complained about not having enough time to work on your passion projects. You blamed your 8-5 job on why you’re not as far along as you should be. Well…guess what? It wasn’t my job. It’s me!!! I’m well into two months of not working and I haven’t accomplished much at all. How are you doing? Have you been super productive? If so, shame on me, haha.
Now that I know it’s me, I ask myself…what now? I won’t be hard on myself for not accomplishing more. It’s obvious I needed to come to this realization.
Self awareness ⬅️⬅️⬅️Can I be my own boss? Can I be that disciplined? Am I really “passionate” about my side projects? Are you really lazy? 😕 Or are you just not taking yourself seriously? Maybe your confidence level isn’t as solid as you thought it was? Like I should be doing a video on this but I opted to blog it instead 🤷🏻♀️
This is where I’m at. It is the moment of truth and I no longer have the time to f*** around when it comes to what I want out of my life. I’m turning 39 this year 😬 I don’t want to dabble for the rest of my life. Honestly, most of my life has been a cycling of dabbling. In career, aspirations, and even love. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. It’s been me just trying to find my way. I have to mention though… I wasn’t just some loser along the way 😁 You can soul search and still be responsible.
These next few weeks will be very telling for me. If you’re in the same predicament as I am, my only advice is…do the work. See what you’re made of. And whatever it is, own it. I will find out if I have the grit to work for myself. I very well could be a corporate ladder individual. I remember when I was in the banking/mortgage field. I really enjoyed it. When I switch to logistics my passion for work changed. So I honestly really don’t know. I envision myself doing lots of things. And I do do a lot of things. The problem is I don’t get great at anything. Good but not great. So yeah…this choppy random post is ultimately me holding myself accountable. To you as well because I’ll have to come back and reveal my results. Well, I don’t have to 🙃 but I will!
To be continued…