I admit, sometimes I drink a little too much.
Is it the numbness I desire? Because I really don’t feel numb.
I feel it, all of it.
I smile more, dance more. I cry more, scream louder.
I feel it, all of it.
When the walls are caving in and I find it hard to breathe, I reach for that drink…
i can breathe now.
Even with my body curled up on the bathroom floor…
i can breathe now.
When I’m in pain, that drink makes it less difficult to bear.
I feel it, all of it.
It’s not all bad though.
In a world filled with so much noise, it eases me…
brings me out in a crowded room.
frees me from the dailies of life.
faithful to me as I am to it.
I admit it, sometimes I drink a little too much.
Art By Carrie Graber – Los Angeles
The Freedom of Choices 
I don’t drink that much and I’ve never gotten drunk… but I started reaching for an occasional bottle of beer after a particularly hard day at work. And this was a very tough week for me in all facets of my life, so I started to want the numbness of drink, as well, and realized the slippery slope it could really be. I mean, I trust myself and I still have never gotten drunk, but I can surprisingly relate to this right now… Thanks for sharing.
I totally understand. I was going through a really hard time in my life at one point and I started drinking everyday. It takes a whole lot of self awareness to know you’re heading down a dark path. I trust myself as well but during that time I didn’t see the habit I was forming. Everyday was a bad day so I’d have a drink. Now I have a tendency to drink more than I should. So just be careful. Addiction is a horrible thing. Unless it’s love and chocolate 😂
Yeah I think everyone trusts themselves, which makes me not trust the trust in myself 😂 I always worried about addiction, so I tried my best to refrain from anything “seductive.” Even coffee, I didn’t start drinking until college and try to keep it at one a day (except it’s so hard in winter and I need two…). So I was wary about the urge to have a bottle of beer after a bad day at work…
Sorry to hear about the hard time you had to go through… You be careful too! 💗
Exactly lol I don’t trust the trust in myself sometimes too. I use to drink a few cups of coffee a day. Now just one, thankfully. The struggle sometimes smh anyways, thanks! I will 🙂