I Admit

I admit, sometimes I drink a little too much.

Is it the numbness I desire? Because I really don’t feel numb.

I feel it, all of it.

I smile more, dance more. I cry more, scream louder.

I feel it, all of it.

When the walls are caving in and I find it hard to breathe, I reach for that drink…

i can breathe now.

Even with my body curled up on the bathroom floor…

i can breathe now.

When I’m in pain, that drink makes it less difficult to bear.

I feel it, all of it.

It’s not all bad though.

In a world filled with so much noise, it eases me…

brings me out in a crowded room.

frees me from the dailies of life.

faithful to me as I am to it.

I admit it, sometimes I drink a little too much.

 

Art By Carrie Graber – Los Angeles 

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About me…let’s see….I would say I am a TRUE Virgo. If you knew me, then you would so agree. There are quite a few things I care deeply about. Off the top of my head, I would say with much passion, my family, friends, the environment and world peace. Oh and animals. Can't forget them. I think I love animals more than most humans, lol. I believe it’s important to surround yourself with good people. Be picky with who you let in your circle. The environment, the earth does not belong to us. We are merely just visiting for a period of time. So lets no abuse it. World peace, that’s a hard one. It’s not a perfect world, but wouldn't it be wonderful if every child, women and man were safe? We can’t change the world and every single soul living on earth. But one person can make a great difference in the surroundings in which they live. Wouldn't you agree? Let’s not forget what fuels my soul, music. It speaks for me when I can’t. It expresses my feelings when I am unaware of what they are. It has a way of lifting my spirits when I am down. It has this magical power that is able to touch my heart with just lyrics alone. I wouldn't know what I would do without it. Poetry, I love poetry. In all forms...written or spoken. I think that's it :) Wait, then there is God, the source of everything. Astrology, quantum physics, Abraham Hicks, Agape...I should just end this now, LOL.

4 thoughts on “I Admit

  1. I don’t drink that much and I’ve never gotten drunk… but I started reaching for an occasional bottle of beer after a particularly hard day at work. And this was a very tough week for me in all facets of my life, so I started to want the numbness of drink, as well, and realized the slippery slope it could really be. I mean, I trust myself and I still have never gotten drunk, but I can surprisingly relate to this right now… Thanks for sharing.

    1. I totally understand. I was going through a really hard time in my life at one point and I started drinking everyday. It takes a whole lot of self awareness to know you’re heading down a dark path. I trust myself as well but during that time I didn’t see the habit I was forming. Everyday was a bad day so I’d have a drink. Now I have a tendency to drink more than I should. So just be careful. Addiction is a horrible thing. Unless it’s love and chocolate 😂

      1. Yeah I think everyone trusts themselves, which makes me not trust the trust in myself 😂 I always worried about addiction, so I tried my best to refrain from anything “seductive.” Even coffee, I didn’t start drinking until college and try to keep it at one a day (except it’s so hard in winter and I need two…). So I was wary about the urge to have a bottle of beer after a bad day at work…
        Sorry to hear about the hard time you had to go through… You be careful too! 💗

      2. Exactly lol I don’t trust the trust in myself sometimes too. I use to drink a few cups of coffee a day. Now just one, thankfully. The struggle sometimes smh anyways, thanks! I will 🙂

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