How does the search for a new mattress become the turning point of how I look at relationships? I’ll tell you. A ridiculous story 😂
I don’t know if it’s age or an old mattress. I’ve been tossing and turning and aching in the morning. I’m mostly a side sleeper. Hmmm…I wonder if my mattress is the reason for some of the shoulder swelling. Age probably plays a role as well. Since I’m “older” haha, I know the importance of sleep. Good, deep sleep.
I have been researching mattresses for about 3 months. Chose Nectar but shipping delays caused me to cancel. The Purple was a contender. Sleep Number another. I eventually chose Puffy. Why? Like 90% of reviews I came across were good. Only one person gave them gave them a negative review.
So it arrived super quick and was super heavy. My 118 pounds of muscle couldn’t lift it 🤣 That’s what sons are for 😉 It’s a very cute mattress. Puffed up quick and no smell. The first night was OK. I wasn’t in awe. Within a week I noticed I was sleeping on my back throughout the night. Like, I didn’t turn or wake up at all. Sleeping on your back is the best position fyi. My body didn’t feel as tight as normal. The second week I noticed my lower back hurting a little. After a couple of days, it was gone. Third week…I felt a lot better. If I had to rate Puffy…I would say 8 out of 10. Which is really good right?
So why am I still looking for a mattress? Why am I spending at least an hour of my day researching? I mean, I’d have to keep both in my tiny room until I made a decision. The process wouldn’t be easy.
Again, WHY? Because there could possibly be something better. There could be a 10! Guess what I did? I put in another order. Saatva this time. Guess what else I did? Cancelled it the same day because a bunch of negative reviews popped up. I did research it first. Why I decided to go back and look for more after I made the purchase? I don’t know. The universe was obviously directing my attention that way.
That morning I was thinking, wow…I kind of do this with relationships. My intimate ones. I look for flaws and I use them as an excuse because I can’t commit. Instead of just speaking my truth, I pick at the problems instead of saying how I really feel.
There is also that fear of settling. I am very well aware of what I deserve and I make no apologies for it. So what if I want a mattress that’s a 10? Or a partner I see as a 10?
Well…does a 10 actually exist? I couldn’t find any mattress reviews that had 10 stars. Close but not perfect. Is there such thing as a perfect person? I’m not one and I’ve never known anyone to be either.
Do I get into bed and feel… aaaahhh? Yes. Do I toss and turn less? Yes. Does my body still ache constantly? No. Could it be better? Yes. It can be a tad softer. Overall are you happy with it? Yes.
So why the hell was I still looking for another mattress??? ::sighs:: I got issues like Julia Micheals.
To make matters even more ridiculous. I have a friend (whom I’ve known for only a short time) say to me…in response to my “there could possibly be something better. I’m so indecisive.”
Him – “in love and mattresses.”
“I like you, possibly love you, but what if my soul mate is still out there?”
OMG! I was dumbfounded by his comment. How he was able to connect the two. Then again he’s a Virgo. We are great at reading people.
I undeniably have a fear of wholeheartedly committing to someone. Not saying that my previous relationships were supposed to last. I’ve discovered the connections. I move out of relationships very unattached. Searching and wanting more with each. It’s a cycle I’ve been in my whole life.
Who would have thought that a search for finding the best mattress could teach me so much?!
What does this mean? I have learned something else about myself. Now I can work on it. Face my fears full on. This is such a good thing.
So…do you think I’m keeping my mattress?? 😆
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