I’m normally not the kind of person that reacts on impulse. I like over think everything. BUT, right now the stars, the planets…they’re really F*ing with me. Has me being all impulsive!!! I get it though, I know why. It’s something I needed to face.
It really is a magical-intense time right now. I’m super obsessed with astrology all the sudden. Well…actually…I’m very in-tuned spiritually right now. It’s manifesting on such a massive scale. I really do think my life is going in the direction its meant to go.
Authenticity. Like…what was I meant to do with my life? Why was I created? I’ve always wondered…and I know now. Truly.
Karmic lessons? I’m sure going through it right now. I’m a pretty good person. I strive to be the best person possible and I always try to do the right thing. I also know that I’ve hurt some people along the way. Never on purpose. I just see things for what they are. And it doesn’t always agree with the other person.
I’m sorry to everyone I’ve ever hurt. If you know me you know I didn’t do it out of spite or hate or just pure evilness. I know that life is short and I need to live authentically. I have to follow my heart. Along the way I’ve caused some pain. I am very aware of how cold I can be. It’s not that I’m a heartless person, it’s just who I am…not someone who wears my heart on my sleeve. But when it comes to my son, animals, the innocent or the environment, I can become a bit erratic. But matters of the heart…love…that has always been hard for me. I’m learning. I think these past few years have kicked my ass. Like, humility…yeah, I got that now, lol.
As painful as some things have been, I’m OK. I was being taught a lesson. UNIVERSE…I get it now, can you ease up just a little please?
Hard times, difficult decisions…they suck don’t they??? It’s a must! I know the process is so frustrating. Possibly painful. Ridiculously stressful. It turns into strength though. We just have to be brave and do all the shit we don’t want to do. All the things that scare us, we have to do them. We have to struggle and endure all the bullshit that comes with it. The other side…the one we can’t see, it’s beautiful. The struggle is real but so is the reward.
So…I know all of my choices that have led to extreme heartache and stress is conditioning me to become the person I am meant to be. Leaving my comfortable job, telling the girl I still want her…it all kind of feels like OMFG…but I know it’s all meant to happen. I am exactly where I’m suppose to be. There is something amazing that’s going to happen. I know it. Even though right now I’m so stressed out, hurt and unsure…I know it will all work out.
I’m meant to do great things…so this job…it has to be a gateway to something greater. This place isn’t it. There is so much more that I’m meant to do. I have a purpose, a calling…and I’m coming! To the girl who’s kept a hold on my heart, I guess we weren’t meant for each other. I thought we really had something…the timing was never right, but that karmic aura was always there with you. You’re happy now and from the bottom of my heart I am truly happy for you. I really think we could have been something magical. Or maybe I’m just a stupid hopeless romantic, lol. I dunno.
To the one who turned pretty ugly after we split, I forgive you. You were in pain, I understand. I love you and will always care for you.
To the one that was just all over the place…I hope you are well. You really are a fresh of breathe air and you always made me smile…I wish you all the happiness in the world because you really are a sweet heart. I’m sorry if I hurt you, I can be mean…I’m really sorry.
It’s most definitely a time of reflection. Our past…it’s potent right now. Time to deal and heal. NOW is the time…so do it people. I’m telling you…the universe is doing some major life altering shit right now. Do what you need to do to live the life you’re meant to live…the life you want live. Be brave. Be honest. Be real. Always follow your heart, trust yourself. It doesn’t always work out…but remember there is a purpose, a lesson. Be patient. Have faith. Amazing things are to come if you do your part.
OK…till next time…take care!