Tag: fear

Strangers By Your Side

How does it feel after a night with a stranger by your side?

Did you love the smell of her hair?

Did the texture of her skin soothe your mind?

How did you feel holding her body in your arms?

Were you happy?

Did she fill the empty space in your heart?

Oh, no?

So on you go.

Another night, another strange body lying next to you.

You go through the same motions.

Strangers by your side, night after night.

Running your hands through her hair.

Caressing your palms over the curves of her body.

Kissing with no real magic.

Only one intention…

to feel.

That you are alive.

And once you get there…what is left?

Does it leave you feeling lonely?

Is it just another temporary distraction for a void you desperately wish to fill?

Friday is here…and it starts all over again. Continue reading “Strangers By Your Side”

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Practice “Being” and not always “Doing”

I’m always doing. Planning, overthinking. What are the next steps? What is the next move? The only time my mind and body really idles is when I’m watching a movie.

“Doing” is innately who I am. I don’t need to be taught or told. I just do.

I even worry about being worried too much 🤦 More fixated on tomorrow than the moment.

I realize this, therefore, living in the moment is a behavior I have to work on. I literally have to “practice being.” For short periods I’m in the flow of just being. Then it turns back into my natural state of “doing.”

Continue reading “Practice “Being” and not always “Doing””

then you came along

I was okay…

then you came along.

I was doing fine…

living in my mind.

then you came along.

So unexpected.

I forgot what it felt like…

to have no control at all.

My emotions raging like wild fire.

I’m finding it hard to breath.

Holding on by a thread.

I’m waiting…

for you.

Laying in a body of what feels like an open sea.

Still…looking for any sign of you.

Some nights I thrash and throttle with the waves.

Fiercely trying to hold on through the night.

Some days the waters are calm and I feel a sigh of relief.

I become hopeful that you’ll come for me.

But at this moment…

i feel empty.

I really don’t know anymore.

Would you really leave me out here alone to drown?

The seed of fear is finding life in me.

I really was okay…

before you came along.

Lingering in the shallow waters.

I was safe.

then you came along.