I run round and round in circles. Like a corn maze the size of the pacific ocean, no matter which way I turn I always seem to end back up at the exact location I despise to be.
You see the corn maze is a place filled with my thoughts. It runs circles like the windmill. The ocean is my mind, overflowing with thoughts that never end like how the waves never miss the shoreline.
Baffling, how oneself can argue with oneself so productively. This ocean of mine never seems to fill perfectly, it just overflows. Over sandy beaches that once stood sand castles. Drowning land that once gave home to daisies and creepy crawlers. Occasionally the sand isn’t enough. Tsunamis form and nothing stands in its way. Submerging sidewalks, homes and buildings…no amount of logic or reason will keep my temper tamed. Once fiery has been unleashed there is little to nothing that can soothe it.
I run round and round in circles. Looking for reasons
to all my whys. Searching for answers to all my unanswered questions. Needless to say it’s endless.
My exterior calm, controlled and masking…but the undercurrent is full of turbulence.
A battle of possibilities from dark to light sits comfortably in my mind, although I wish it didn’t. Exhausted, lifeless paired with sleepless. I pity myself at times.
A free spirit but a prison-ed heart. It never breaks free from the mind that holds it. It has tried, but forever collides with the analytical mind.
A battle consisting of bombs dropping on buildings. Exploding, crumbling as shards of glass shoot in all directions through the air.
I’m waving the white flag fiercely.
My heart is begging please.
Let me be at peace.
But no amount of blood, of screaming, of crying will do.
I continue to run the maze. My ocean continues to overflow.
Every now and then it subsides. I’m grounded and waves are calm.
But that battle inside my mind, its stained like a bad tattoo.
Forever, imprinted…I’ll always be at war.