You know when they say… “When it rains, it pours?” Yeah…it really does happen! Me and my distractions have caused me to get nothing done!
I’ve had so many things go on this past month it’s insane. I haven’t been consistent in my writing at all this past month. It’s important for me to write. Books don’t get read if they don’t get published. If there is nothing to publish then you’re shit out of luck. So I’ve had to add that to my puddle as well 😦
This happens to the best of us right? Life is so unpredictable, who knows what will happen from one minute to the next. All we can do is work through it, one day at a time. I guess the key is to stay grounded. No matter how stressed you are, keep both feet on the ground. Try to stay strong and positive. Remind yourself these are just moments and it will past. That’s the only way I can keep myself from jumping off a cliff! Not technically cause I do love being alive. But depression is very easy to fall into. Nothing like curling up in bed and drinking your sorrows away.
I must admit I’ve been drinking a little more than normal. Not totally crazy alcoholic style. I don’t drink hard liquor much at all. I just mean I’ve had a couple of beers or glasses of wine a day, almost everyday. Normally I have one a couple of times a week. As well as trying to keep myself grounded, I have to be aware as well. My family is filled with alcoholics. Therefore I know that I am not immune to becoming one. I’ve had to step outside of all the problems and remind myself to be careful.
It’s not easy trying to stay straight when you’re being bashed in all directions. But, I have the WILL to push on. The drive to move FORWARD. I don’t know if it’s something I was born with, or if my childhood helped it, but I have it. The WILL, the NEVER GIVE UP SPIRIT. I guess I am blessed? Some don’t have it 😦 BUT, I believe it’s very possible to learn it, you have to practice it. I’ve seen it. I know people personally who have one-too many times tried to bail out the easy way but were lucky enough to survive it. And now, they are thriving. It’s still hard for them, more than it probably is for me, but hard times are hard times. We all go through it. And we’ll make it out pretty OK.
So, are there still a bunch of things I still need to take care of? Yes. But it’s time to get back to reality. We all need to cry, but we can’t continue too. Get it out and move on. This is me moving on. Even though it’s painful and at times unbearable, I have to look past the dark grey clouds onto the horizon. It’s there, just like the sun. We don’t always see it, but we know it’s there. It feels like my world is upside down, but I know it’s truly not. Get what I’m saying?
If you’re going through anything similar, life will go on… if you choose that is. I chose it even though I want to scream, break things and go crazy. At times even opening my eyes can be painful. Still…Life really is still good 🙂 Me and my distractions (it’s actually just life), I forget that writing makes me feel better. Writing is my outlet. I’ll use that to my advantage when it starts pouring again 🙂 See, there’s a lesson in everything. There is good with the bad. Just hard to see sometimes.
I told someone I’d have a book finished in a year…I’d like to keep my word. Through the pain, the bad, the stress and even the happy, exciting, loving times, I must write.