upsets..lost..grief.

Things can change with one doctor’s visit. A simple trip to Target. You can unknowingly walk into your job for the last time after 15 years. Life is not predictable.

We should be prepared for all the what if’s but the reality is – we can’t AWAYS be prepared for EVERYTHING. I’ve learned the best preparation is to groom yourself to be more of an observer in life than a reactor.

When you live in a reactive state you tend to…

• stress more
• have more anxiety
• anger easily
• make rash decisions
• burn bridges
• hurt the people you love the most

When you’re more of an observer you tend to…

• feel more at ease
• have better health
• you tend to think more positively
• not every little thing upsets you
• you’ll make decisions based on logic rather than pure emotion 
• you build and keep healthier relationships

Do you have anyone in your life who is quick tempered? Spas often? Do you enjoy being around that kind of energy? 😐

When the dip happens and it will, the observer won’t lose it. The observer is very aware that life is filled with highs and lows. Observers normally have better control of their emotions.

Prime yourself to be better equipped to handle difficult circumstances.

A sudden car repair is needed, you don’t go straight to –  wtf am I going to do? You stop and think. Weighing out all your options. Stress can lead to sickness. It’s not necessary. Something goes wrong at work or at your child’s school…you stop, breath and focus on maintaining a calm mental state. Being flustered leads to decisions you may regret later. I remember when I had to put my dog down about five years ago. I was more of a reactor then. I let my emotions and flustered thoughts take control. If I were calmer things may have gone differently. I can’t be sure of it…but I really think they would have 😔 still sad when I think about it sometimes. 

Conclusion and Tips: These are goals/habits that I have formed and executed in my own life that has yielded positive results 😎

• Educate yourself (self taught or formal schooling)
• get a good night’s sleep so you’re performing well at work
• have health and life insurance
• contribute to a 401k/IRA
• having an emergency fund

You know…all the normal things an adult should be doing. The world is changing but these basic principles aren’t going away. You will always have to pay rent/mortgage. Unless you live out in the woods somewhere that the government doesn’t own. No need for a 401K if you’re filthy rich and money never runs out. Both are possible. But if you’re like most Americans, we are use to living indoors with heat and running water. We like the privacy in our homes. We like shopping online and having pizza delivered to our door 😋

Before you start tackling that “adulting list,” things will be much easier if you first learn to manage your thoughts. In order to achieve these goals, a well organized mind is needed. Mental health and financial psychology is crucial. If you suck with managing your money, add a few good financial books to your list. 

We all want a harmonious life. I say let’s make what we have control over as easy as possible. Like being an observer instead of a reactor. It’s free!!! 

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay