Welcome To Virgo Season, Bitches

Yeeeeessss!!!!

Hello, peasantry.

It’s officially (as of two days ago, but I was busy meeting deadlines) the most wonderful time of the year. And no, I’m not talking about Christmas or something else that utilizes a bunch of unnecessary lights and wreaths that will inevitably litter your floor with pine remnants and other shit.

It’s motherfucking Virgo season.

So get your planners out, make sure your phone is fully charged and take note. Because the next 30 days aren’t for fucking around.

You had Leo season to get sloppy, make a scene (or 12), and just generally act like a damn idiot. Now it’s time to pull yourself together. You know that stovetop you haven’t cleaned all year? Get to Target, buy yourself some $4.99 stovetop cleaner, and scrub-a-dub-dub, hon. Your baseboards? They’re fucking filthy, friend. I’m sure you need a new toothbrush anyway so pull that bent AF Soft Bristle brush out of its holder and get to cleaning. You have way too many contacts in your phone as is so if his name has “Bar” or anything close to that next to whatever else is listed in your phone, delete delete delete.

The fact of the matter is, you know you’re mess. And Virgo season is here to fix it.

I’m sure you’ve heard of spring cleaning but that’s frankly laughable. This next month isn’t just an “Lol this is the one time of year I’m productive” anomaly.

No.

This is the one time of year when you’re going to be a goddamn machine.

Love going out? Too bad, you love staying in and working an extra 3 hours now.

Love drunk texting? That’s adorable, today you’re going to text that SOB and tell him that you’re not interested and then you’re going to block his number BEFORE seeing if he responds.

Love drinking? Copious amounts of water you do. No wine until you’ve had your daily 64 ounces hon. That’s the rule.

See, the thing about Virgo season is that it’s not for, well, losers. You have literally 11 other seasons to run around acting like a dumbass and then go crying to the Virgo for advice. This is your one time of year to be the advice GIVER.

This is the time of year when everyone wonders, “I don’t know how she does it” about you. Where you radiate togetherness, poise, unadulterated confidence, intimidation, efficiency and all of those other adjectives you’ve previously left for…other people.

So don’t take advantage.

Like I said before.

Get your planner, find your ballpoint pens, pack an extra phone charger in your bag and make sure you have 👏 your 👏 shit 👏 together. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Let’s face it.

We all have at least one Virgo in our life that we wish we could emulate on a daily basis.

Wouldn’t it be kind of cool to give them a run for their money? Even if only for a month?

(Cue all of the real Virgos loling in the distance.)

So welcome to Virgo season, bitches.

May the odds be ever in your favor. TC mark

Posted by

About me…let’s see….I would say I am a TRUE Virgo. If you knew me, then you would so agree. There are quite a few things I care deeply about. Off the top of my head, I would say with much passion, my family, friends, the environment and world peace. Oh and animals. Can't forget them. I think I love animals more than most humans, lol. I believe it’s important to surround yourself with good people. Be picky with who you let in your circle. The environment, the earth does not belong to us. We are merely just visiting for a period of time. So lets no abuse it. World peace, that’s a hard one. It’s not a perfect world, but wouldn't it be wonderful if every child, women and man were safe? We can’t change the world and every single soul living on earth. But one person can make a great difference in the surroundings in which they live. Wouldn't you agree? Let’s not forget what fuels my soul, music. It speaks for me when I can’t. It expresses my feelings when I am unaware of what they are. It has a way of lifting my spirits when I am down. It has this magical power that is able to touch my heart with just lyrics alone. I wouldn't know what I would do without it. Poetry, I love poetry. In all forms...written or spoken.

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