Why do so many of us choose unhappiness??? Is it really the situation we’re in, or is it self-inflicted due to our marathon running mind? The truth is, a lot of us aren’t even aware how unhappy we really are. Instead we see it as, “This is life and everything can’t be perfect.” Some days of happiness are better than none at all, right? We go about our daily lives. Doing what we have to in order to live a decent life. But at the same time, we see others and wish we could have what they have.  Do the things they do. We wish we had great relationships like you see in the movies. We wish a lot of things and we wonder why their wishes came true and not ours.


We’re preconditioned to believe things of that nature are for certain people. So now…this is life. Going for the dream is too much, we’re more likely going to fail, we aren’t them. Just work with what we have.

What does this all really mean? I think it means we have settled. We’ve settled for a life that is just OK. A great life doesn’t exist.

Again, WHY?

Did you grow up in a home where your parents never dreamed? Did they ever tell you anything is possible and dreams do come true?  I had one parent who dreamed, but he was never around. Too busy chasing his own dreams. Another parent said,  “Just  finish school. Study. Get a decent job. Don’t ask for too much. And I believed her. Believed playing it safe was best.


As s a child, we didn’t know any better. As a teenager, we thought we knew everything but didn’t. Then we become adults and we act and think in the way we’ve been taught. We’ve been brainwashed for quite some time. “Don’t ask for too much.”

The good thing is, we have the ability to change our mind.  It starts with wanting a desire for more. That’s what dreams are made of, our desires for wanting what we want. As we mature, when we’ve lived a little, we realize life is more than the walls we grew up in. Our life becomes ours. What we do with it is up to us.

My past, your past. 

I grew up in a home that was mentally ill. Not literally, you know what I mean right? I know first hand what it’s like to face the truth. I’ve realized we are the makings of what created us. It’s not easy to break the cycle. It’s not easy trying to change the ways that brought you up. To this day, there are things about myself I wish weren’t there. It’s a process. You have to look in the mirror and see who you really are. If you like it, great. If not, you are going to have to want to change. I wanted more out of life and myself.  With a lot of fight and heart, I broke free and found me. The me that I was meant to be. Cycles can be broken and minds can be changed. Just gotta step up, and when you do, the road that lies ahead will be filled with highs and lows. Through your journey you MUST be AWARE. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll even sometimes revert back to who you don’t want to be. But if you’re aware, if you’re constantly trying to be better, you’ll break out of you THEN and return to who you want to be NOW.

There is no such thing as a happy ending?

I choose not to believe it. Growing up and going through all the things I’ve been through, you’d think it’d break my spirit, but it hasn’t. Yes, there are hard times…but it’s a moment in time and it WILL pass. You must remember there is always an end to all beginnings. Just when you think you’re at your breaking point, surprise…you’re stronger than you ever knew.

My life is the way it is because this is what I’ve chosen. If I choose to live in negativeness, I deserve everything that has and will come to me. I make no excuses to why things are the way they are. I take full responsibility. If something needs to change, I will own up to it and make the necessary changes. But it’s always on my terms, not anyone else’s. I choose to believe in myself, my dreams and my wants. Settling is not a possibility. It isn’t and will never be a choice for me.

There are many obstacles and so much to learn.

We can be so blind. Family, friends, partners. We easily become blinded due to insecurities, fear and hope.  We are insecure with ourselves. We lack self-worth so we stay in negative relationships. We keep people around even though we know they are bad for us. We fear the unknown. So scared to be alone that we don’t stand up for ourselves and take a chance at what else life has to offer. Who else can we meet if we let go of the people who do not enhance our life but bring it down? We hope things will change. We hope that people can change. And yes people can, but are you willing to let your life pass you by waiting for that change to happen? How long will you wait and how is that fair to you? What choices will you make?

Others may not understand, but you understand why it’s so hard to make tough decisions. After all, you are the one that has to live with them. Like I said before, any changes that are made regarding my life are on my terms, not anyone else’s. It’s the same for you. When you’re ready, you will make the change. If happiness is what you truly desire, you will face the truth no matter how scared you are or how much it will hurt.

What is courage? Courage is being scared as hell but still moving forward and doing what you have to do.

Could this be possible? Maybe it’s you? 

You’re unhappy because you are unhappy with yourself. You look to point the finger at other people, placing blame to why you’re so miserable. What’s really the root of the problem? The person who can’t give you all you want? Or is it you who can’t do it all for yourself? Are you walking around blaming the economy for your financial troubles? Or is the truth actually just maybe you spend more than you have? Here come the excuses, excuses, excuses. We can make tons of excuses but there really is no point. Think solutions. You’ll have to sit down and think of ALL the things you’re unhappy with. If they are things you have control over, things that you can do for yourself, then why are you waiting for someone else to do them for you? You cannot sit and wait for all the things you want to happen by the doing of someone else. You must have the desire for happiness and the courage to pursue it on your own. No matter whom you leave behind or how hard you will have to work to change your life.

So you see, we all have been given the gift of choice. No matter what our situation, no matter what we’ve been conditioned to believe. We have a choice in whether or not we want to be truly happy. A lot of us choose unhappiness. A lot of us are also unaware of how happy we can really be. We all have our reasons to why we choose the paths we’re on.  And we all also have the capability of making our own choices.

Ask yourself if you’re truly happy. If you’re not, why? Then face it and make a change. Be done with the WHY’S and be happy. Make it happen friends. Till next time, *<3*PEACE*HAPPINESS* always, Roacilynn

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About me…let’s see….I would say I am a TRUE Virgo. If you knew me, then you would so agree. There are quite a few things I care deeply about. Off the top of my head, I would say with much passion, my family, friends, the environment and world peace. Oh and animals. Can't forget them. I think I love animals more than most humans, lol. I believe it’s important to surround yourself with good people. Be picky with who you let in your circle. The environment, the earth does not belong to us. We are merely just visiting for a period of time. So lets no abuse it. World peace, that’s a hard one. It’s not a perfect world, but wouldn't it be wonderful if every child, women and man were safe? We can’t change the world and every single soul living on earth. But one person can make a great difference in the surroundings in which they live. Wouldn't you agree? Let’s not forget what fuels my soul, music. It speaks for me when I can’t. It expresses my feelings when I am unaware of what they are. It has a way of lifting my spirits when I am down. It has this magical power that is able to touch my heart with just lyrics alone. I wouldn't know what I would do without it. Poetry, I love poetry. In all forms...written or spoken. I think that's it :) Wait, then there is God, the source of everything. Astrology, quantum physics, Abraham Hicks, Agape...I should just end this now, LOL.

6 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Out of all of your blogs to date, this one really touched me. Maybe because I know exacty where yo’ure coming from. You really have a great way with words. Very proud of you!

  2. good article is very true
    we need to take responsbility for creating our own happiness and stop looking outside

  3. Intresting!,,,I like it!.. How do responsibility and loyalty to family fall in? Are we to abandon our responsibilities when things get uncomfortable…? Leave our spouse and kids as did my ex (no matter who we have to leave behind) and persue life with an all about me attitude? I am slowly making a shift from existing in a life that is about reacting to everyones circumstances to living a life that has me excited to awake each day! Responding to the situations can take up all my day, energy and resouces and still not resolve everyones problems. My views on love, faith, family and home are some of my strengths. Could they be the very thing that has me struggling?

    1. Family is everything. When you decided to have kids, they are your everything. Only cowards walk away from their children. Things do get tough yes, but it’s our duty to provide a safe, positive and happy life for them. You’re struggling? Then think of how your children must be feeling. They didn’t ask to come into this world and they should never pay the price for our uncertainties.

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