Today I’m in la la land. Woke up thinking…do I really have to get out of bed this morning? The answer was, yes -_-  Was I happy about it, not at all. I’m trying to find the power button on my phone, I keep my eyes closed and try to feel my way all along the sides of my phone till finally a bright light comes on.

Really? I am going to get up and give myself some time or stay in bed and rush my way to work? Well this morning, I decided to do neither. I actually did stay in bed for awhile, but said to myself, “I really don’t care this morning.” I moved as slow as a turtle.  Had my coffee, took my sweet time.

Even though my body was moving in slow motion, for whatever reason my mind was speeding.  Thinking…what am I going to say when I  show up to work? Make a great excuse, or just not say anything at all. I came to the conclusion, I’m gonna get docked for it anyway so who gives a rats a**.

Still, my mind can’t stop thinking. What am I doing? What can I do to get out of this BS? What can I create? How can I get to where I want to be at a faster pace? I mean I’m trying. Building my blocks. I know it’s not easy to create the life of your dreams. Success takes so much hard work. So much sacrifice. It REQUIRES patience. That’s one I’m struggling with this morning. BAD.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful.  But sometimes, it’s nice to say this freaken sucks! I say, let me have today. It’s a personal Roacilynn’s day. To stay in this la la land to think and feel however I what. Whether it be negative or positive. I get a free pass to feel however I would like and not feel bad about it.

We need these days once in a while. It’s not such a good day. My mind is everywhere besides the place it needs to be. Feeling so out of place and wishing I was somewhere else.

It will past. It always does.

Do you ever have these days? Of course you do! All the “you have to think positive. You have to fight the negative energy.” Yeah I got that. But sometimes, just once in a while, let me feel. Let yourself feel.

We live in a society where it’s frowned upon to be vulnerable, to be perceived as weak. It’s kinda stupid if you ask me. To bury and hide your feelings. I mean there is a healthy balance on both sides. You just have to be aware of what that balance is.

For me, once in a while I’ll give myself to the negatives. It actually helps me put things into perspective. My mind gets to live in la la land to wander wherever it wants. Good and bad. We don’t always have to be so controlled. Get what I’m saying?

Tomorrow will be a new day. Fresh new emotions. Fresh new ideas.  Fresh everything.  I just have to keep myself in check today. Keep that balance.

Anyways, let me know if you ever feel like this. How do you deal with these kind of days?