I’m always doing. Planning, overthinking. What are the next steps? What is the next move? The only time my mind and body really idles is when I’m watching a movie.
“Doing” is innately who I am. I don’t need to be taught or told. I just do.
I even worry about being worried too much 🤦 More fixated on tomorrow than the moment.
I realize this, therefore, living in the moment is a behavior I have to work on. I literally have to “practice being.” For short periods I’m in the flow of just being. Then it turns back into my natural state of “doing.”
I really don’t mind it. I enjoy being organized and productive. The only thing I’d like not to do more of is worrying. It could also be a control issue thing 🤷 A little more take it easy and have faith would be nice.
At least I’m aware, right? I can take steps to correct it. I’m hoping if I practice it enough, the “being” state will be more natural. Less of constantly trying to be aware. It’s definitely going to be a challenge.
But, I also recently started journaling daily. WHY? To see if I’m wasting time and not working hard enough. See what I mean?
hmmmm….how can I keep a good balance? Maybe I should start a to-do list for fun, relaxing and re-grounding? I should!
This past year seemed…I dunno…very stagnant. A lot of disappointments. Some lessons, yes. Some growth for sure. BUT…very stagnant. This coming year needs some changing. And that begins with more of just BEING – learning to enjoy everyday moments and not just DOING – constantly worried about the future all the time.
We will see. 2018 has flown by. I believe your new year is on your birthday. Then again I feel like so is January 1st. I guess I have two new cycles in life to be stressed and excited about 😬