“Too many people have relationship goals but no life goals.” ~Unknown
Why is that? Why is connection so important to us? There’s this song by Iggy. The intro starts off with one guy asking the other how he feels about having feelings and emotions. He responds with he rather not have them at all…that he feels them but he doesn’t believe he needs to have them. I can understand why he feels that way. Sometimes when you’ve been hurt over and over you kind of just find it pointless to feel anything at all.
It’s difficult to not feel. You can try, but being human means we feel EVERYTHING. Sorry. But…guess what? We can somewhat control it. A tremendous amount of things play into this though. Life experiences and WILL just to name a couple. I’ve learned as an adult, with all that I’ve encountered…I can’t stop myself from feeling certain emotions but I can help enhance how strongly I let it affect me or not. Being happy, that’s an easy one. I love when I’m feeling happy 🙂 I don’t need much help with that. It’s the unwanted ones I don’t like much. Like anger, loneliness, disappointment…those suck.
When we feel the unwanted emotions, it can go two ways.
1)You can work through it. Find out why you’re having these feelings and what it really means to you. Then, figure out a solution if needed, whether it be a little bit of self-pity or meditation. Identify the lesson and learn from it. Then move on with an open mind and heart.
2) You can have tunnel vision and say why me. Have self-pity to the point of depression. Grow bitter about it and hold grudges.
You know what…some people choose number 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s so fascinating when you think about it. Why do people choose to be angry and bitter? Why would you not want to be happy? I guess we all “want” to be happy. My conclusion is the ones that are truly happy don’t just want to be happy, they CHOOSE to be happy.
I am a firm believer in life is short. Like I don’t just say it, just to say it. I know it. Anything can happen at anytime. I try to live my life with no regrets. I try to do whatever it is I want to do. Like FEAR…of rejection, of hurt, of disappointment…it doesn’t scare me as much as it use to. Now I’m kind of like…WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS. That’s it.
Living in a place where being alive isn’t appreciated is pretty sad. I’m thankful to be alive. And I really do value who I am. Self love…I got that 🙂
My IG post
I’m definitely someone who needs my space. It’s the only time I can actually hear myself think. Learning how to enjoy your own company is so important in regards to self-love. Your self-worth shouldn’t be measured by another person. Whether it be a lover, friend or family. Love and cherish yourself as an INDIVIDUAL. It will radiate such a beautiful U…why? Because you’re TRULY happy with who you are. If you’re lucky enough to feel this self-love, pass it on. Help others who are in need of this self-awareness.
Self-love, that’s a huge one. Without self-love you will always look to someone else for it. That’s no way to live. I get that we all want connection. We all want someone to love who loves us back. I get it. BUT, that shouldn’t be the basis of happiness. True happiness should come from your inner self. Single or not, you value who you are. You love yourself. Now, when you’re aware of how wonderful you are, you’ll have standards. You will never settle for something less than you deserve. People who love themselves do great things with great passion. Everything in their life is vibrant. From the company they keep to their smile.
Like I said earlier…if you’re lucky enough to feel this self-love, pass it on. Loving yourself wholeheartedly isn’t easy. If it was then people would laugh more and bitch less. People wouldn’t jump from relationship to relationship. People wouldn’t allow themselves to be cheated on or talked down to. People would be OK with turning up Netflix alone on a Saturday night instead of going through their entire contact list to find someone to get turnt up with. I love going out…but with my friends. Not just anyone. And I like my own space. Frankly I need it. Some people just like being around others. That’s fine just as long as you’re not sacrificing yourself to just have someone, anyone around. You know the saying is true, you are the 5 people you hang around most. We all have acquaintances. But take a look at the people you’re closest to. Think about it. Sometimes we have to let go of what’s not good for us in order to become our best self possible. Doesn’t mean you’re better. You just want different things. It’s OK to have different goals and dreams. You can’t shine if your surroundings are cloudy. Get what I’m saying?
Life is tough. So many hard decisions….BUT, one decision that shouldn’t be hard to make is choosing happiness. Do what you gotta do to get to that place of self-love. Self-love equals true happiness.